I know, I know, its September, what are we doing talking about Christmas?!?!?!?! If you are anything like me you still have a couple of family birthdays and Father’s Day to get through before Christmas can even be a distant blip on the radar. But I have been thinking about it recently because this year I am determined to do it better.

Has anyone else noticed that there used to be mid-year toy sales? Where did they go??? I used to buy all my Christmas presents then (my children plus 12 nieces and nephews. Yes 12!!!), but over the last couple of years, they seem to have disappeared. Without my trusty Target Christmas toy sale lay-buy I’ve been reconsidering how Christmas can work for us this year. Here’s what I’m thinking:

1. Its really easy to say that presents are just stuff and that they don’t matter, but for some people they really do. When it comes to love languages, there are five ways that people like to feel loved (in short; words, gifts, time, acts of service and physical touch. If you have never heard of this before check out more details here: So for some people, gifts really do matter. Its how they feel loved and appreciated. Unfortunately, my husband is one of those people. It is not about the stuff; it’s about the thought. Getting the right gift for the person to feel known and appreciated. No pressure for the rest of us?!?!?!?!?!?!? My point is I don’t think an easy Christmas is as easy as just saying no presents. That’s fine for some people but certainly not for everyone. However, there is an opportunity to buy gifts for the people who really appreciate them (they don’t have to be expensive, just thoughtful) and do other things for the important people in your life. By taking the time to talk about love languages with the people important in your life, you might be able to skip buying a present for your partner (I should be so lucky) or that special person and do something else. Maybe a memorable date night or experience.
2. Speaking of experiences, studies have shown that the joy people get from experiences lasts significantly longer than the joy from “stuff”. So, if you are buying for a group, it might be nice to get everyone tickets to the cricket or movie or theme park (this is a gift and will satisfy those quality time love language people too). Studies have also shown that buying shoes will give you more prolonged joy than other things…. Just saying…..
3. Every year I buy my kids the number of presents I think it’s appropriate for them to get on Christmas day. And every year I seem to forget that we are not the only people buying for my kids. If you are like me and have a large extended family, it might be time to cut down on the presents you buy and let some of the family fill the gap. I need to shift my thinking to not focus on the number of presents that I buy, but the number of presents they will receive from everyone as a whole. Wish me luck.
4. There’s no doubt that Christmas is stressful. This year I’m just going to do the things that work for us as a family. If it doesn’t work, I’m not doing it. I used to drive my kids over an hour to a Christmas barn so they could pick one new decoration to go on the Christmas tree. I thought it would be a lovely family tradition and a way to build special memories. The truth is my kids fought nearly the whole way in the car on the way there, felt so overwhelmed by the choices available that they couldn’t decide, so ended up crying and then sobbing all the way home. It was a disaster. I’m not doing that again. This year I’m taking my kids to a shop in the local mall and telling them they can pick a new decoration for the tree. There is no guarantee it won’t also end in tears, but at least I’ll be closer to home (and wine) this year.
5. Be kind to yourself. Christmas is hard. Being a Mum on Christmas day is a special kind of hell. (If you haven’t watched a Bad Mom’s Christmas, do yourself a favour and watch it!) There are way too many things to do, expectations, extended family and only your kids childhood memories on the line (anyone feeling pressure or guilt yet?!). It is a long day and bloody exhausting. Everybody wants it to be special and lovely but whatever you do, don’t go into debt to build a fantasy perfect Christmas. That shit is not real. Do the best you can with what you have. Perfection doesn’t exist, and kids will remember the excitement and fun with the family, so let’s focus on that.